2 Conversations About Money and Death You Need to Have With Your Parents Right Now

If you’ve given any thought about estate planning, you probably associate it with preparing for death. But did you know that there are critical reasons (and significant benefits) for planning while you’re still well and alive? That’s why I refer to my services as Life & Legacy Planning. When done right, planning for your assets and your death is something that should start right now through honest, open conversations with your family.

It starts by talking with your parents, siblings, and children about what you want the future of your family to look like, how you’d like assets managed, and what type of care each family member would want in the event of a debilitating or terminal illness.

You might have talked about estate planning with your family before. However, this week, I explore the essential discussions you should be having at this moment to fully grasp your family’s financial situation and plan for the future effectively.

Keep reading to learn the two conversations about money and death you need to have right now.

Conversation #1: What Exactly Do Your Parents Own?

Initiating the first conversation involves posing fundamental questions to your parents and the older members of your family: “What do we have? Where is it? And, how would I access it if you weren’t here to guide me?” 

The possible threat to your family’s money is closely linked to the expenses that arise when someone passes away. Besides the obvious costs like funerals, burial, or cremation, and end-of-life medical care, there are many hidden expenses to consider.

Unclaimed assets, amounting to approximately $70 billion in various departments across the U.S., often slip through the cracks because family members don’t know where the assets are, how to get them, or that they even exist.

Because of this, tracking and documenting assets, including crypto assets, before incapacity or death is essential to protecting your family’s wealth when someone dies or becomes incapacitated.

Talking to your parents or other family members about this might be challenging, but how you bring it up can make a significant difference. The secrecy around where assets are or the worry about seeming greedy might prevent open discussions within the family. However, building trust among relatives and across generations can help overcome these barriers.

For the junior generation, building trust involves understanding the root causes of distrust and stepping into a mature, caring perspective for the greater family good. Similarly, senior generations can nurture trust by taking ownership of past parenting shortcomings and demonstrating faith in the individuals their children have become – after all, if you raised your children with a sense of financial and personal responsibility, you should be able to trust them!

Dealing with these challenges might seem overwhelming, but the benefits of establishing trust and starting this important conversation are invaluable. Take advantage of the discussion to document where family assets are located and who has access to them. If you’re unsure how to go about it, we can assist you in creating a comprehensive list of your assets to ensure nothing is overlooked in the face of illness or death.

Conversation #2: What Are Their Wishes for Long-Term Care?

The next talk to have with your parents is about planning for long-term care. This discussion goes beyond money matters and delves into the emotional aspects of care, asking about who will step in if your parents are unable to care for themselves, how the care will be given, and the possible challenges it might pose on family members.

While money can be a less vulnerable entry point to this conversation, the core involves the tender question of personal care. Addressing concerns such as, “Who will take care of me? How will I be cared for? Will I be a burden on my loved ones?” brings a level of vulnerability that goes beyond financial considerations.

Avoiding this discussion can leave important decisions in the hands of the medical system, leading to unwanted outcomes and growing expenses. Having the long-term care conversation brings clarity to preferences, funding, and ways to protect against unexpected care costs.

Let Us Guide The Conversation

If initiating these conversations feels challenging or uncomfortable, we can help. As your attorney, we focus on building personal relationships with our clients and their families, and can help guide you and your family through difficult discussions and tough questions about your family’s assets and wishes.

It starts with a Life & Legacy Planning Session, where we look at everything you own and everyone you love to identify gaps in your family’s security and make a plan that ensures everything will be cared for the way you want when you die or if you become incapacitated.

At Cheever Law, APC, we don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death for yourself and the people you love, starting with a valuable and educational Life & Legacy Planning Session. This will allow you to get more financially organized and make the best choices for the people you love. If you have already completed your estate plan, we will review that plan at your Life & Legacy Planning Session to ensure that it will work the way you intend and address any holes or gaps that may be present if circumstances have changed since you executed your plan.   

To learn more about our one-of-a-kind systems and services, contact us or schedule a no-obligation 15-minute introductory phone call today.