As an estate planning attorney, I see this situation more often than people expect: someone remarries later in life, assumes their family will “figure things out,” and unintentionally leaves loved ones unprotected.
Divorce and remarriage in midlife are increasingly common. Many people over 50 are starting new chapters after divorce or loss, and with that often comes a blended family – adult children from prior relationships, new spouses, and shared assets. While this new beginning can be joyful, it also creates unique estate planning risks if your plan is not updated.
Without proper planning, remarriage can accidentally lead to children being disinherited, spouses being left without support, or assets being drained entirely. These outcomes are rarely intentional – but they are entirely preventable.
Below are three common situations I see, along with how thoughtful planning can help avoid painful consequences.
When Children From a Prior Marriage Are Accidentally Left Out
Imagine this scenario:
A parent remarries later in life and leaves everything to their new spouse, trusting that their children will be taken care of later. Unfortunately, if the surviving spouse passes away without updating their own estate plan, all assets – including those from the first marriage – may go only to the surviving spouse’s children or chosen beneficiaries.
The result? Children from the first marriage may receive nothing from their parent’s estate.
This happens more often than people realize. When everything is left outright to a spouse, there is no guarantee those assets will eventually pass to the original owner’s children.
How planning helps:
A well-designed trust can ensure both a spouse and children are protected. Assets can be divided clearly, or structured so a spouse is supported during their lifetime while preserving an inheritance for children afterward. Clear instructions remove uncertainty and prevent unintentional disinheritance.
When a New Spouse Is Accidentally Disinherited
Another common issue occurs when someone remarries but never updates an old will. In many cases, the will still names a former spouse or children as beneficiaries.
If that person passes away unexpectedly, state law may override certain provisions – but that does not always protect the new spouse. In some cases, the surviving spouse may receive little or nothing, including losing the home they shared.
This is especially devastating when it happens during retirement years, when rebuilding financially is difficult.
How planning helps:
Updating your estate plan after remarriage ensures your current spouse is protected. With proper planning, you can provide housing, income, or support for your spouse while still preserving assets for children from a prior relationship.
When Assets Are Used Up Before Children Inherit
Even when someone intends for their children to inherit “what’s left,” that amount may end up being far less than expected.
For example, if all assets are left to a surviving spouse who later requires long-term care, those funds may be fully consumed by medical or caregiving expenses. By the time the surviving spouse passes, little – or nothing – remains for the children.
This isn’t anyone’s fault. It’s simply the reality of longer lifespans and rising healthcare costs.
How planning helps:
A comprehensive plan can allocate assets intentionally – ensuring some go directly to children, while others are reserved for a spouse’s care. Life insurance and properly structured trusts can also provide financial security without jeopardizing future inheritances.
Why Blended Families Need Thoughtful Planning
Blended families face unique emotional and financial challenges. Without clarity, even well-meaning decisions can lead to conflict, confusion, or resentment.
Estate planning is not about choosing one loved one over another. It’s about creating a plan that reflects your values, supports your spouse, protects your children, and reduces stress during already difficult times.
When your plan is clear, your family does not have to guess what you would have wanted—or fight over how to carry it out.
How I Help Families Get This Right
When you work with me, I don’t just prepare documents. I help you think through real-life scenarios and design a plan that works for your family – not just on paper, but when it actually matters.
Together, we’ll make sure:
- Your spouse is supported
- Your children are protected
- Your wishes are clear
- Your family stays out of court and out of conflict
If you’re remarried, planning to remarry, or part of a blended family, updating your estate plan is not optional – it’s essential. The good news is that with the right guidance, you can protect everyone you love and move forward with confidence.
If you’re ready to review or update your plan, I’m here to help.
At Cheever Law, APC, we don’t just draft documents; we ensure you make informed and empowered decisions about life and death for yourself and the people you love, starting with a valuable and educational Life & Legacy Planning Session. The Life & Legacy Planning Session will allow you to get more financially organized and make the best choices for the people you love. If you have already completed your estate plan, we will review that plan at your Life & Legacy Planning Session to ensure that it will work the way you intend and address any holes or gaps that may be present if circumstances have changed since you executed your plan.
To learn more about our one-of-a-kind systems and services, contact us or schedule a 15-minute introductory call today.