When parents have two or more adult children, choosing who should serve as successor trustee can be one of the more difficult estate planning decisions. You may trust both children equally, want them both involved, and worry that naming one over the other could create hurt feelings or resentment. Naming both children as co-trustees may seem like the simplest and fairest solution.
I understand that concern. Most parents don’t want their estate plan to suggest that they favor one child over another. But choosing a trustee isn’t about deciding which child deserves more responsibility or recognition. It’s about selecting the person, or people, best suited to manage your affairs when you can no longer do so yourself.
While naming your children as co-trustees can work well in some families, it can also create complications that parents don’t always anticipate. Before making that decision, it’s worth understanding what serving together actually involves, particularly under California law.
Equal Inheritance Doesn’t Mean Equal Responsibility
One of the first distinctions I discuss with clients is the difference between being a beneficiary of a trust and serving as its trustee. Although your children may inherit equally, that doesn’t necessarily mean they should have equal responsibility for administering your estate.
A trustee has legal and financial responsibilities that go well beyond receiving an inheritance. Depending on the circumstances, those responsibilities may include managing investments, maintaining or selling real estate, paying expenses, coordinating tax filings, communicating with beneficiaries, and making distributions according to the trust’s instructions. The trustee must also comply with fiduciary duties imposed by California law.
Some people are naturally better suited for these responsibilities than others. One child may be organized, financially responsible, and comfortable making decisions, while another may have a demanding career, limited availability, or little interest in managing financial matters. Neither circumstance makes one child more deserving of an inheritance, but those differences can matter considerably when deciding who should administer your trust.
I also encourage clients to think about how their children handle disagreements and difficult conversations. Someone can be financially capable and trustworthy but struggle to communicate effectively with a sibling. Those interpersonal considerations may be just as important as someone’s professional experience or financial knowledge.
Choosing one child as trustee doesn’t give that child the right to favor themselves or disregard the interests of other beneficiaries. A trustee must follow the trust’s terms and applicable fiduciary duties, including the duty to act impartially when administering a trust with multiple beneficiaries. The appointment is a position of responsibility, not a reward.
What Happens When You Name Children as Co-Trustees in California?
One of the most significant considerations when naming children as co-trustees is how decisions will be made when they don’t agree.
Under California Probate Code Section 15620, when two or more trustees serve together, they generally must act unanimously unless the trust document provides otherwise. This means that, depending on how your trust is written, both children may need to agree before exercising authority over trust matters.
Consider a situation where your trust owns the family home. Following your death, one child believes the property should be sold immediately, while the other wants to make improvements before listing it. Both may have reasonable arguments, but they have different ideas about what should happen next.
If the children cannot reach an agreement, the administration may come to a standstill. Meanwhile, property taxes, insurance, maintenance costs, and other expenses continue accumulating. What might otherwise have been a relatively straightforward decision can become a source of frustration, delay, and potentially significant legal expense.
Disagreements aren’t limited to major decisions like selling real estate. They can arise over hiring professionals, approving repairs, managing investments, paying expenses, or determining when beneficiaries should receive distributions. Even siblings who generally have a good relationship may approach these decisions differently, particularly while dealing with the emotions and responsibilities that follow a parent’s death.
This doesn’t mean co-trustees must personally handle every task together or that every administrative document necessarily requires two signatures. The trust’s provisions and applicable law determine how authority may be exercised. A properly drafted trust can address certain decision-making procedures, but those provisions need to be considered carefully.
If you are thinking about naming both children, I would want to understand how they currently make decisions together, whether they communicate openly, and what would happen if they reached an impasse. It’s much easier to address those concerns during the planning process than to leave your children struggling with them later.
When Naming Both Children Makes Sense
There are certainly situations where appointing both children as co-trustees is appropriate. Perhaps your children have a particularly strong relationship, communicate well, and bring different skills to the administration. One might have financial expertise while the other has experience managing real estate or business interests.
They may also have a history of making important family decisions together and genuinely prefer to share the responsibilities. In those circumstances, co-trusteeship can provide a useful balance of skills and perspectives, particularly when the trust contains clear instructions about how they are expected to work together.
However, I wouldn’t assume that children who get along socially will necessarily work well together as trustees. Managing an estate involves financial decisions, legal obligations, deadlines, and occasionally difficult conversations with other family members. It can put pressure on relationships that have never been tested in quite the same way.
It’s also worth remembering that dividing responsibilities doesn’t automatically eliminate each trustee’s legal obligations. Even if one child handles the financial matters and the other oversees the property, both may still have duties concerning the administration of the trust. Their responsibilities depend on the trust’s provisions and applicable law, not simply an informal agreement between siblings.
Before naming both children, I recommend having a conversation with them about what the role involves. You may discover that one is enthusiastic about serving while the other would prefer not to take on the responsibility. Giving them an opportunity to express those preferences can be helpful for everyone.
Other Options for Choosing Your Successor Trustee
If you’re concerned about naming only one child, there are several ways to structure your estate plan without requiring both children to serve together.
One option is to name one child as the primary successor trustee and the other as the alternate. The second child would step in if the first is unable or unwilling to serve, or if a vacancy occurs under the circumstances specified in the trust. This gives both children a potential role while avoiding the need for them to make every decision jointly.
Another possibility is to appoint an independent professional fiduciary or corporate trustee. This may be particularly appropriate when there are strained family relationships, complex assets, or concerns that either child’s appointment could create conflict. While professional trustees charge fees and have their own requirements for accepting appointments, their independence and experience may make them a worthwhile option for some families.
Depending on your estate planning goals, your children may also be able to serve as trustees of their own separate inheritance trusts after the initial administration is completed. For example, if your plan provides for assets to be divided into continuing trusts for each child, each child might serve as trustee of their own trust rather than sharing responsibility for a single trust indefinitely. Whether this is appropriate depends on the trust structure, the assets involved, and the protections you want for their inheritances.
There isn’t one arrangement that works for every family. When I help clients choose the right trustee, we consider their family relationships, the nature of their assets, the responsibilities involved, and the practical realities of the people they are considering. We also discuss backup appointments because even someone who is an excellent choice today may be unable or unwilling to serve years from now.
Making a Decision That Protects Your Family
I know that choosing one child over another can feel uncomfortable, especially when you’ve worked hard to treat your children equally throughout their lives. But your estate plan should be designed to make things easier for your family when they need it most, not simply to avoid a difficult conversation today.
In my experience, one of the most valuable parts of estate planning is having these conversations before a crisis occurs. We can talk through your concerns, consider your children’s individual strengths, and explore how different trustee arrangements might work in practice. Sometimes that leads to naming both children. Other times, it becomes clear that appointing one trustee with a carefully considered succession plan would be a better fit.
You may also want to explain your decision to your children while you’re able to do so. Understanding why you selected a particular person can help prevent misunderstandings later, especially when your decision was based on practical considerations rather than favoritism.
Ultimately, the best trustee arrangement is one that allows your wishes to be carried out effectively while minimizing unnecessary stress and conflict for the people you love. Your children can be treated fairly without being given identical responsibilities, and thoughtful planning can help preserve the relationships that matter most.
If you’re creating or updating your estate plan and aren’t sure who should serve as successor trustee, Cheever Law can help you evaluate your options and develop a plan that reflects your family’s unique circumstances. Schedule an introductory call to learn more about our estate planning process.